Ask Our Expert, Florian Schlosser

You can email your comments and questions to: florian@alovingspace.com

15th May 2010

The Question: I find it really difficult to date women that I am not attracted to – even if we get on well. How can I overcome this or should I just accept that beauty is important to me?

Florian's Answer: Ultimately our perception is mainly determined by how we are experiencing ourselves inwardly. For example: if we are happy, we naturally perceive happiness and beauty around us. If we are unhappy and feel unattractive we will see the same qualities around/outside of us. Havent you noticed this already many times in your life? This simple reality can turn relating to another person actually into an easy and revealing adventure. We only have to genuinely be in touch with ourselves and become conscious of our inner state.

19th May 2010

The Question: Why does the guy I have met online continue to date other women when I think we have found something special and should be aiming for an exclusive relationship?

Florian's Answer: Have you honestly asked him if he also is aiming for an exclusive relationship? Mostly it is very useful to openly put our agendas on the table. We are simply not used to being true to ourselves because we think that if we would do so, the other person may stop liking us or will reject us. We are already relating based on fear. Another perspective is: how free can you remain inwardly when you meet someone you begin to like. Mostly we give up our freedom within instants when we move into a more sincere relationship. Yet this usually pays back after some time. Can genuine love really exist without freedom? What happens if you make your happiness and freedom depend on the behavior of your partner? Can you look at this situation as an invitation to remain free inwardly while you begin to get closer to that man? All this is a lovely invitation to actually play with a mature way of relating.